‘Sup, dude? Prayer me back.

or: Are you there, God? It’s me, Pablo.

My friend and fellow parishioner at Holy Lutheran Church, Pablo, is heading the call committee. We’re in the process of looking for a permanent pastor, and Brooke is serving on the committee. She came home last night with one thing sitting mightily on her chest. He leads them in prayer at the beginning of every meeting, and at three meetings a week, Brooke is on the verge of tearing her hair out.

She hates the way Pablo prays. To be fair, articulate extemporaneous prayer is hard to do. It's a talent or a practiced skill, and if you're not trained, you've either got it or you don't. Most don’t.

One example of a particularly bad "most," pulled from an episode of This American Life titled “Music Lessons” is transcribed below:

Father God, right now in the name of Jesus, God. We come to thank you, O God. We want to thank you for gathering us here, O God. We come against every spirit that is trying to hinder this choir, right now in the name of Jesus.

If you doubt me, go listen to it yourself. It’s 4 and a half minutes into the Real Audio.

Pablo’s prayers are not that bad, bless him. They are, like most things, annoying until you find a way to find them amusing. However, once you find them amusing, you’re screwed if you can’t adequately stifle a giggle under the necessary circumstances.

Hey, God, it’s the call committee here at Holy Lutheran Church in Springfield. You probably know that we’re preparing to interview some more candidates for our campus pastor. Please guide us and help us make good decisions in this process. Okay? Great. Thanks, God. Amen.

It’s like he’s leaving God a voicemail.

Anyway, I guess you’re not in. Catch you later.