Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Oh, very young

I’m still working on the details. They remain somewhat fuzzy. I have, however, a few things, in brief, to mention at this point.

1. I didn’t realize that my father and I could have this kind of relationship, and I wonder if my relationship with my mother simply eclipsed it.

2. My mother’s best friend called this morning and asked how she was doing. I panicked that she hadn’t made the Call list, but it turns out that Dad had left a message that Aunt Friend never got. The message mentioned an update on Mom, not her death, so it may have fallen by the wayside. Aunt Friend missed the opportunity to go to either visitations or the funeral, so Dad invited her to the burial in the spring. Aunt Friend is the woman who shared her twin bed for several weeks with Mom when Mom was kicked out of her parents’ house in 1969.

3. The number of people who love my mother, who respect my mother, and who shared life changing experiences with my mother is greater than I may ever know. Women who never met her wept during the service.

4. This morning, I weighed 116 pounds. That needs to change. Tedious though it may be, I’m going to track my progress until I move up to a healthy weight.


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