Points of note

Greasy Cousin Richard’s real name is Richard, and his wife really is called Fuzzy. Aunt L said that her name is Mary Ellen or something, but Fuzzy said, “Everyone calls me Fuzzy.” So we call her Fuzzy.

Fuzzy looks like a zombie.

Uncle P got through cranial surgery just fine and is recuping in the ICU for some period of time. Brooke’s dad promised to come back for Uncle P’s funeral.

Uncle P’s wife, Aunt D, kept introducing me to people as Brooke’s friend. Yes, we’re friends, but, well, you know, we also have another kind of relationship.

Just before the funeral mass, she introduced me to her sister-in-law, Lisa or something, who shook my hand and said, “Oh! Congratulations!” and smiled really big. I thanked her even though I don’t know what I was being congratulated for. Your grandfather-not-in-law just died! Well done!

The deacon who said the rosary whispered something in 17-year-old Cousin S’s ear just beforehand. “I saw your friend Captain Morgan the other night. He was being chased by a couple of Cokes.” He mentioned this because Cousin S was hospitalized last year for alcohol poisoning.

Cousin S also got caught skipping school because she had her boyfriend call in as her dad, only he didn’t know how to spell Cousin S’s last name.

Dad’s SUV wasn’t able to jump the Corolla, but a tow truck came to jump it, and it started. I got a new battery at Sears, and all is right with the world. No starter necessary.

I love my dad. Brooke is secretly glad her father didn’t come, but she’s very glad my dad came.