Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Present tense

I talked about my mother in the present tense today. "My mother says that," I told someone who knows full well that my mother is dead. "My mother used to say," I corrected myself, "that that would be a funny way to go, getting hit by a cookie truck." I talked about it a little too much, trying to quell my discomfort about forgetting that she's dead. "Just think," I said to my supervisor and coworker, with whom I was sitting down to have a quick meeting, "everyone would be snickering about it at the staff meeting." I had been trying to explain why I was late to our discussion; I was documenting procedures that only I know how to do.


At 12:35 AM, Blogger peacemongermom said...

Grandma has been gone for over 10 years, but I still speak about her like she is here sometimes...I love her still, so I think it's okay for me to still speak about her as "Grandma always says..." or "Grandma always..."

I don't know - does that make me nutty? I don't think so - it just means that I'm aware of how much Grandma is important to me, and it acknowledges that **she** is still here, because **I'm** still here. Ya know?

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Jess said...

I was surfing the lesbian mama blogs and ended up here. Nice writing, thanks for sharing it.

I do that; my mom died of cancer in 1990 (when I was 14). I think it gets to be less, but it still happens....

The adoption story is interesting. I'd love to hear if anything comes of that.


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