Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Ooh, I'm scared

Hannah calls attention to herself by shouting, “Nananana!” over and over again. We’re pretty sure that means, “Hello! Pay attention to me!” Her first word was “no,” and although she first used it on the cat, she proceeded to use it in more interesting and mocking ways. For instance, toddling over to one of her grandpa’s antique electric fans and sticking her fingers between the blades before turning around and saying, “Nooooooooo,” in a long, drawn out way. She made her face long and deepened her voice, and the effect was hysterical. Our laughing only encouraged her, of course.

Now that she’s walking with confidence, she plays this little trick in a new way. I spent much of Saturday watching her watch for a reaction from me as she walked over to a floor lamp and shook it. She smirked and looked over her shoulder and said, “No no, Nana.” Meaning: What are you going to do? Admonish me again?

Should she really be smirking at her age?


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