Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Brooke and I celebrate our third wedding anniversary today. We have a lot of changes coming up this year, and I’m looking forward to most of them. I’m not looking forward to working opposite shifts so that we don’t have to pay for childcare, but all of the other stuff, like having a baby and being mommies, should prove to be good.

I don’t know what I would do without her, though. Brooke has been kind enough to massage my hips, sides, and belly with cocoa butter at night. We have no illusions about keeping stretch marks away, but it’s a nice ritual. Then she made me toast last night at midnight – two slices, and not even at the same time – and didn’t whine when I got her up at 7 this morning for my midwife appointment. Together, we heard Ebry’s heart beat. Together, we talked to the midwife about our questions and thoughts. Together, we made appointments for my big ultrasound and my next visit. At my next visit, I’ll be 20 weeks along. That’s halfway there.

I’m 40% done now. Brooke and I have been able to feel my uterus for a few weeks now, but I don’t think I’ve felt the baby move. That’s the next step. I want Brooke to feel the baby more than anything. She says she’s bonding with the kid already, but I think she’s really just bonding with my uterus.


At 6:38 PM, Blogger Siobhan said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!

At 3:08 AM, Anonymous rich said...

ditto that, congrats. :)

At 5:50 AM, Anonymous Nella said...

Happy anniversary!
If she feels she's bonding with Ebry, that's what matters. :)

At 10:08 AM, Blogger Pat said...

Happy Anniversary, and don't worry about the ups and downs of your emotions. I found that, for me, when I stopped trying to "Rubik's Cube" everything about my life, I began to enjoy it more, and it enhanced my relationship with my partner that much more. Wishing you a happy life together, a healthy child, and much love and laughter.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger portia said...

Happy Anniversary!! You two are amazing.

At 9:43 PM, Anonymous Sheena said...

Happy anniversary!

At 12:06 AM, Blogger Sandalou said...

Congatulation on your anniversary and best wishes for monumetal amounts of future joy and happiness.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger Gosling said...

Happy (very belated) Anniversary!! And many, many more. Hugs to you both.

At 8:15 PM, Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

happy happy anniversary!

At 12:34 PM, Blogger flyoverguy said...

Sorry I'm so late.

Happy Anniversary!!!

At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary!

- Colleen

At 12:17 AM, Blogger Alex said...

What a beautiful moment or should I say moements. I lost my dad three years ago and still cry its a long process... Congrats on 3 years.


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