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Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Keeping up


I’ve been dreaming about a strange variety of things lately, the most recent two being work and knitting. These are things I do nearly every day, but I rarely dream about things I do on a regular basis. My dreams bring up people from the past, ideas that never came to pass, and generally bizarre combinations of people and activities and places. The work dream was me doing what I do—creating spreadsheets, moving numbers around, sorting through data and summarizing it with other numbers. Very calm, very relaxing.

The knitting dream was stressful and produced anxiety. I was in a workshop and someone was demonstrating on the sweater I’m making for Brooke. The demonstrator dropped a stitch but I couldn’t get his attention. I watched as the dropped stitch made a huge run down the length of the body. He was going to ruin it, but he wouldn’t listen to me and just stop so I could fix it. He made several rounds past that dropped stitch in the time before I woke up.

Strange dream. Probably the result of a sad conversation with my mom and my drinking more wine than I should have.


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