Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Questions from portia

1) When, and how, did you become a vegetarian?

I started the process when I learned about trichinosis at age 12. I abandoned all pork products immediately. At 15, I learned about mad cow disease. That wasn’t so much the problem as the fact that many farms were grinding up dead cows and feeding them to the other cows. Turning an herbivore into a cannibal really upset me, so I stopped eating the meat or meat products of all mammals. When I started dating Brooke, a pesce-vegetarian, I left all air-breathing food sources behind.

With mercury, overfishing, and the general squicked-out-ness I experience regarding seafood consumption, I have pretty much stopped eating it. My philosophy on food ethics is that I have to be willing to participate in the manner in which the food is grown and prepared for consumption. I’m not willing to coat my yard with pesticides, so I have to be willing to buy organic food. I’m not willing to participate in large-scale agriculture, so I have to be willing to buy from small farms. I’m willing to feed chickens and take their eggs and feed cows and take their milk, but I’m not willing to kill them. Ergo, I can feel okay eating eggs and yogurt.

2) You and Brooke can live anywhere, because discrimination no longer exists. Where do you live?

Right here. Or in Chicago. Job opportunities are better in Chicago, but we sure do love our house and our community.

3) Are you two going to go to Montreal or Spain and be legally wed? Why or why not?

Plans to marry in Canada are in the works. It’ll be a small wedding, but we’ll have my dad, brother, SIL, niece, nephew and her mom and stepdad there for sure. We’re waiting for Brooke to get a job so that we can cover expenses for everyone without much fuss (bed and breakfast stay, meals, wedding costs). Brooke needs to hurry up, if you ask me. She promised that she’ll change her last name to mine when I marry her legally. I keep telling her to get that job.

We had hoped that my mother would be able to see us marry legally, but you don’t always get what you want.

4) If the answer to 3 is yes, would you be willing to be a test case in the US legal system?

Absolutely. I have to make some contribution to the world, don’t I? We couldn’t afford the legal costs ourselves, but there are a number of people and organizations willing to fund such a thing if they had any hope of making it work. As you’ll notice, nothing has yet been filed.

5) How many children do you want to have?

My old answer to this question was “enough for a hockey team.” Now, I think we’re aiming for two to three. The hope is that I’ll carry one, Brooke will carry one, and we’ll adopt a third. Depending on what happens legally and financially, those plans might change.


At 1:39 PM, Blogger portia said...

I'd say two or three is much more manageable, yes. You'll be outnumbered with 3, and I'm told the games begin at that point anyway.

I'm disappointed you and B won't go for any of those killer lastname combo opportunities! :p

I think your plans are wonderful, and I know your mom would be so thrilled for you. The pictures of her beaming smile on your wedding day are something else.


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