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Postcards of Grief

Mourning is a process.

Comments on breast cancer by proxy, written by a woman coping with the loss of her mother.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Sunshine

I may have just received the best gift I could have gotten: for Ebry to have two legal mommies. It’ll take some time. It’ll be a lot of money and a lot of driving, but we just might be able to do it.

No details yet. I’m still plotting the logistics.



In a conversation with my father about the various ways in which one’s will and/or trust can be arranged, he mentioned that his is arranged per stirpes. If he and Paul and I all died in the same car crash after Ebry was born, Ebry would be entitled to 50% of the proceeds of Dad’s estate, and Hannah and Brock would each get 25%. Although it’s still a little early to think about it, he went on, he would have to make a specific amendment for any child who might be legally Brooke’s but only mine in spirit and in practice.

My father knows these issues, and they matter to him. I consider myself unimaginably lucky to have him.


6 Comments:

At 1:57 PM, Blogger flyoverguy said...

A great guy, your Dad!

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger the therapeutic writer said...

Hey I was thinking about you guys today and wondering how everyone is. My cousins are both legal parents on their daughter's birth certificate. Wrong country, I know, but if you need them as a resource, let me know and I'll see if I can put you in touch.

 
At 7:13 AM, Blogger Jen said...

Fingers crossed!!!

(tuypoing is haerd,buut fdor yoou guys, antyhinj!)

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Emilin said...

Some US states allow two women on the birth certificate, but mine doesn't. Believe me, I've done more research on this than you could possibly imagine.

 
At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Julie Stetten said...

Emilin: You can get both mommies on the birth certificate, once the legal adoption is finalized -- I could help you with resources to figure it out, if you don't know them yet. Julie, LMNetwork

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Emilin said...

Thanks, Julie. The hard part is going to be the adoption, but we have a good lead. As you mentioned, we have to do that first. It's not as simple as listing both of us on the birth certificate.

 

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